Thursday, September 27, 2012


I was told a week ago that October 5th will be my last day teaching my boys. They are my boys. For the past 4 years I have taught 3 of my students. when i think about leaving, it is those three that I really will look back at often. I think it is time for them to have a new teacher after 4 years with me but then I have seen them grow from little boys to almost teenagers.
I look at the students that I feel like I have not had enough time with and that frustrates me. I know it is time for me to move on and focus on my girls but change is hard. i have been so lucky to have been given the opportunity to do what i loved for so many years and get paid. I have been lucky to know that while earning an income I was also making a difference in the lives of my boys.
I have been so lucky to have worked with an amazing group of professionals who have helped me everyday and who have made me laugh everyday too. And so change is hard, i can not say it enough.
So what sparked this? Well, tonight was open house and I had to say goodbye. Attendance in our program is not fabulous so I still have some parents to tell, but at least some are done. The truth is my boys will be fine, they are resilient and they find ways to shine with anyone. The person replacing me is wonderful and they will be in good hands.
I will miss them but I am
interested in knowing what the future brings for myself and for them! Okay, that's that!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

In limbo

I have hesitated to write about this and I am really not sure why.  Typically I am a person that is fairly in control.  I do not break down, I do not let things make me go crazy, but over the past few months that changed over something.   Since Audrey was born I have gone back and forth with staying home or working.  I admit that I do enjoy the financial perks of working full time, especially having my summers off.  It is awesome.  But at the same point, it is hard on our family and it is hard on me.  I often questioned with it was truly right that I work full time when technically we could afford for me to stay home.  I guess that is a common thought process for many women.  One of the issues with my profession is that I do not just go to work and come home.  I go to work, come home, take care of dinner and the girls, etc, then go back to work on my laptop until around 10pm.   Yes that is right, keep that in mind of you are a person who thinks teachers are not paid enough!!  Some stay up later.  Oh and I should note that doing all that does not bring me ahead, nope, it brings me just close to staying up with everything.  One of the hard parts of all this too is that I do like teaching and I do like getting out of the house and doing things.

So last November when I returned to work it was with very mixed feelings.  I struggled and I stated about a month later that I should never have gone back, I was sure that I was done at the end of the school year.  Then that came and nothing felt right at all.  This decision consumed me.  I decided to put some effort into finding a part time job.  I looked all summer I went on an interview at the beginning of the summer and nothing came of that.  Then at the end of the summer, a week before our vacation, I applied on a whim for another job.   I was called in for the interview and to be honest I knew after the interview that I likely had the job.  I do not know why, I just knew (did not share that really with many people at the time).  So that caused a panic for me.  They did a phone interview with me while I was at the beach and then over a week later I was officially offered the job.  There is drama behind the taking of this job, but bottom line is, I took the job.  There are some complications involved, one being that until Celia starts school I will basically earn little to no money but we should not lose money!  I will work 2 days a week and one Friday a month.  I will work 5 weeks in the summer, but only 2 days a week so I guess in the scheme of things not horrible.  I will get to spend more time with my girls and hopefully start to tame the chaos in my house (organize, do some home projects, etc).  Celia will continue to go 3 full days to her school to keep up with the Pre-k experience.

One of the things I look forward to is not feeling rushed.  In the summer I feel like everything needs to be done.  I need to do things around the house, take the girls places, etc.  Now things are stretched out not compacted to just the summer.  I do not think that life will be less stressful in the beginning but that might be an end result too!!

I like what I do right now and I think that I have been a very good teacher but I do not know if I would continue to be a very good teacher if I stay for a few more years.  I realized in all this that I needed a change.    In this climate right now though, giving up a teaching job really does mean you are giving up your career.  Things may change but it is hard to find a job.  So I am hoping that by keeping up through part time work that when I am ready to return I will still be "marketable".

So why am I am limbo??  Well you know how in most places you have to give a 2 week notice??  Well in schools it is 60 days.  Yep, 2 months.  So I am staying at my current job until possibly Oct 30th, but hopefully earlier!!   I still can not really believe that I will be leaving.  I do not do these things, these type of changes are not like me.  But I think that in the end it is really worth trying!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Rewind to age 4

I have this birthday book for both girls but I have been somewhat lazy with it.  I did not actually buy it until last year so really I can excuse myself for Celia's first three birthdays.  I did an interview with her last year as part of the book and I thought it would be funny to post it.  I need to do her 5th year interview!

What were some of your favorite gifts that you got this year?  All of them

Tell me what immediately comes to mind when I say these words:

Me:  Home
Celia:  All about everything

Me:  Favorite Color
Celia:  Pink

Me:  Sister
Celia: Audrey

Me:  Magic
Celia:  What is that?

Me:  Bedtime
Celia:  I get up
    Okay, did anyone notice what is wrong with that response????

Me:  School
Celia:  Love everything in my school

Me:  Love
Celia:  Miss. Donna

Me:  What's the last thing you were sad about?
Celia:  When I moved out of Miss. Donna's room

Me:What makes you really really happy?
Celia:  Miss Donna and Amber

Me::Are you scared of anything:
Celia:  Bees, tigers, and bears

Me:If you could have any animal in the world as a pet, what would it be?
Celia: baby unicorn

Me:What do you think you'd like to be when you grow up?
Celia:a vet

Me:  Do you like your name?
Celia:  yes

Me:Whose the last person you kissed?
Celia:  Mommy

I want you to take note of the Miss. Donna part.  I have been totally shocked by the fact that Celia is not still a semi-stalker of Miss. Donna.  I say semi-stalker because the obsession was that strong.  She still loves her, very much, but I think Celia is becoming more mature with her feelings.  I think that some embarrassment comes with how passionately she feels about some people.  But do not worry Miss. Donna, Celia still has a very special spot for you.  Actually at her school she has a very special spot for both Donna's at her school.    I am sad that this is Celia's last year at that school too, next year is realty time.   But in true Celia's nature she will shine.

Oh and I do have to share one thing that really cracked me up.  Celia announced this on Friday.
"Guess what Mommy, at school today I had a consequence today and I handled it very well"

She wanted praise and congratulations over that statement and did not understand why Mommy could not quite get past the"consequence" and fast forward to the "handling it well".  

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Send some thoughts Audreys way

Tomorrow at 6:45 am Audrey has an endoscopy. Although it is not anything invasive, the thought of my little one going under anesthesia is not pleasant. I do not expect it to change how we still treat her reflux, but it needs to be done in that rare chance that something is revealed. So she has the test and then it is just Mommy and Audrey snuggling time.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Parking Lot Baby Turns 5







Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Cake

Every year I make Celia's cake. This year was the easiest, and maybe the prettiest!!

Her theme is rainbows. We are celebrating today with family, her birthday is actually on Wednesday.
Is this pinterest worthy??

Updated: The cake was great and everyine who ate it seemed to enjoy it at our small party. Sometime after we ate the cake and put it back in the rubbermaid container, I went to the bathroom. During that time Audrey took advantage of my absence, went into the kitchen and returned with the cake in the box. I walked in on her holding it infront of my mother in law announcing "I want that". The cake was split in two and smashed against the side. So leftover cake looks quite gross and will not last past today as it is a smushy mess. Audrey did not get that, a banana and some green beans were offered. Don't worry she had "that" with the rest of us, I was not going to give her seconds.